Sean Bossinger’s Doings

So, I went in to work late today, and got a chance to play with the boys - something I don't get enough opportunity to do… and I decided to not make up the hours I took off.  I'll need to remember to submit the leave card for the time, because I don't want the auditors breathing down my neck about it.

I was talking with one of my co-workers today about being completely burnt out.  So much so that I haven't been able to really focus on my job.  Even though I haven't been able to focus on my job, things have been going relatively well; but my boss is starting to notice that I am not there 100%.  This isn't necessarily a bad thing, because what has been happening is that my team has been doing phenomenal things, while I've been there to interface their ideas with another team that implements them.  The reason it's not a bad thing, is that she likes me, has said so, and knows why I am not there 100%.  I am banking on the thought that these issues may cause her to take on my cause, rather than dismiss me.  I've done a ton of good for this organization, and I dont' feel appreciated for it.

Anyhow, what it boils down to is this.  I have a group of people who want to do an excellent job, but we work for an administration that doesn't back up this job with the money to get it done.  So, what happens is we have to do a mediocre job.  But no one wants to be associated with mediocrity.  Okay, some people don't mind it, and some of them work for me as well, but the majority of my staff care when they have to give the students the run-around.  Especially when those departments are transferring customers up to our lines, even though it is those departments that should be solving the problems for the customers.

I'm losing my patience at dealing with an administration that turns a blind eye to the needs of their employees, and expects those employees to continue their jobs and be happy to have jobs.  It will not last forever, and this feeling is what bothers me most.  All of my employees are good at what they do.  Yes, as is the case anywhere else, some are better than others, but that doesn't matter.  What does matter is that my staff is looking to leave.  Do I have proof?  No.  I don't need it.  All I do need to know is that if I were them, I'd be looking to leave.

Now all I have to do is re-capture their trust and let them know that I really do care about them and that things will get better.  But I have little faith that that will happen.  So I suspect my turnover is going to skyrocket this year, unless we can do something substantial to reduce the volume of calls that we have been expected to handle.

I've been grappling with a decision.

My employer, Florida International University offers, as part of my employment benefits package, six credit hours of courses per semester.  This works out to about two courses per semester.  All I have to supply is the books and the time, and, as long as I get a B or better, FIU pays for the course.  Since I became eligible for this benefit in January of this year, and even before, I've been contemplating what degree I should go for.

I have a Bachelor of Arts in German from the University of Florida with a minor in Secondary Education.  The plan, ostensibly, was to earn my degree and then come back to Miami and teach German.  Unfortunately, when I got back into town, we were in the middle of a huge fiscal crisis in this state, and Foreign Language education programs were some of the first on the chopping block, unless that language happened to be one of the two popular ones - Spanish and French - and even French took a big hit.  So, the short story is that that didn't happen.  I ended up taking a job in a typing pool for American Bankers Insurance Group, and then went on to become a help desk analyst.  From there, I have gone on to manage and design help desk solutions, including being partially responsible for the current implementation at FIU.  So, as I have a Bachelor's degree, I really have no desire to go back and get a second one.  I have enough credits, in a broad enough subject field, that the time has come to specialize in something…  but I've been trying to figure out what.

The obvious choice, as I have been a manager for more than five years, is to get a Masters of Business Administration.  The MBA will satisfy my desire to get an advanced degree, and would probably get me a higher paycheck.  But honestly, while I feel that I am a strong manager, my heart is not in that line of business - especially not at the level where I am expected to toe the company line.  (I've found that rather than generate reports that show something true, and have results come from that reporting, I'm being asked constantly, wherever I am, to tailor those reports to what the bosses WANT to hear.  I know, I know… this is the same everywhere.)

But the obvious choice, as is so often the case, while simple, is probably not the best choice.

I truly have a desire to obtain a more academic degree, and to pursue a more academic career.  Yes, I still love showing people new things.  Teaching.  That's what made me tick all throughout my Bachelor's program - the thought that some day I would be teaching students.  Only now I have a desire to teach at the college level.

My last professor, Dr. Carvajal, piqued my curiosity in the realm of economics.  The specific concept that interests me is comparative advantage of countries, especially where developing nations are concerned.  So my initial thought was to seek an advanced degree in economics.  But in order to study comparative advantage, it pays to know how relationships between countries are formed, and what makes them tick…

So now I am looking at getting a Masters of International Studies, which should provide me the information needed to determine how countries interrelate at a political and socioeconomic level.  This, in turn, should provide fodder for a doctoral thesis of some sort on how comparative advantage impacts indivduals in both developing and industrial nations.

But maybe it's all just a pipe dream, and I should stick with the MBA.  But MBA students are a dime-a-dozen, so to speak.

And I think I'm much more unique than that.

Today is a lazy day. 

The weather is typical South Florida summer afternoon weather: rain, lightning, thunder.  The type of weather that breeds sleepiness, except in my kids, Donovan (almost 3) and Logan (15 months), regardless of the fact that they have not had naps.  My wife, , has gone to the barn to muck stalls, and I am home watching the children while trying to clean house… a task that, as you can see by the fact that I'm writing this journal article, is not being accomplished presently.  According to the National Weather Service Radar for Miami, the rain, lightning, and thunder won't be going away anytime soon.

I spoke to my best friend from college, Jen, last night.  It seems like she and her family may be moving to Maryland.  Apparently, her husband feels, or was given the impression during an interview with a major government contractor, that he was the top candidate for a position, and could hear as soon as this coming week as to his status.  Presently they are living in Slidell, and both work for another major government contractor that is in the local area.  This is a good move for them, as they, like we, have two preccocious, young children who are approaching school age.  Schools in Maryland are, generally, better than what you would find in Louisiana - probably because people from Maryland tend to put their money more where their mouth is when it comes to issues such as education, whereas people in the southern states generally don't.  This isn't to say there aren't good schools in every state of the union, it's just to say that it seems that most states of the south seem to fight for last place on the list of schools.  We're happy for them.

Today has been very lazy for me.  I slept until about 8:00, at which time the kids were awake, and we had breakfast (a pecan cake that we received from a friend of ours yesterday).  I was in a grouchy mood, so around 9:30, I asked  if she would mind me going back to bed for an hour.  So she let me.  And then didn't wake me up until 11:45, at which time I woke up in a pensive writing mood, as you can see here.

Right now, Logan has fallen asleep, and I've placed him in his crib.  The other son, Donovan, is fighting sleep, trying to stay awake to see what things I'll be doing if he sleeps.  Unfortunately for him, if he stays awake, he'll be helping clean house - not that that's a bad thing, but he usually goes behind me and dumps out everything we've put away.

I was raised Roman Catholic.  Went through the whole bit, satisfying five of the seven sacraments: Baptism, Reconciliation, Eucharist (communion), Confirmation, and Holy Matrimony (marriage).  For a time, I even considered swapping Holy Matrimony for Holy Orders (it's either one or the other… if you are married, you cannot be a priest, and that's what Holy Orders are about).  Yes - for a time Sean wanted to be a priest.  Father Sean.  Bishop Sean.  Pope Sean the First.  Right…  anyhow, let's get back on track.

Turns out there's an 8-year-old girl in Brielle, New Jersey, who received the sacrament of the Eucharist, and now the Roman Catholic Church is invalidating, or considering null-and-void, her communion with Christ because the wafer she used contained no wheat.  Unfortunately for Haley Waldman, because she has a digestive disorder that prevents her from consuming wheat in any way, shape, or form (not a totally unheard of disorder…), she can't partake of the normal communion wafer.

What's the big deal?  Seriously.  Come on… The Catholic Church (at least in the US) has been in a state of decline for the last, oh, I can't remember how long.  And yes, I realize that this is an issue decided at the Vatican, so the local priests and bishops have 0 control over this situation.  But it's still sad. 

I can see the letter now:

Vatican City - 20-08-2004

Ms. Waldman:

We would, however, be glad to reinstate your receipt of the sacrament of the Eucharist.  Simply put your life at total risk, and report back to your local Roman Catholic Church in Trenton, New Jersey, and consume a wheat-based communion wafer.  Be sure to have enough methylprednisone and benadryl (diphenhydramine) on hand to allow you to get past the possible anaphalactic shock, as we will not be held accountable for what may happen to your body (and even if we were, we're too busy paying lawyers for OTHER issuses and would have no money to pay for your care).

Ugh… no wonder I've moved on from that religion.

Okay… I am completely smitten by Erynn, and it is dangerous to keep talking about it to my friends, family, co-workers.  It's just not good practice.

Erynn is a woman that I met in my Economics class this term (Summer B 2004) at FIU.  With her beautiful, full, long hair; her deep hazel eyes with the saucer-sized pupils; and her gorgeous, luminescent irish skin (irish meaning lightly freckled, and near perfect), she is extremely pleasant to look at.  Add to this the fact that she has a smart head on her shoulders, with designs on becoming a foreign correspondant for a news service, or at least travelling to places most Americans would shun just out of practice, and you have a woman who has really got me wondering what more lies beneath the exterior.

She has spoken to homeless people for hours at a time, just to get to know them.  She works at a catering company, and knows the value of hard labor.

I've fallen hard for this 19- or 20- year old.  Harder than I have for any woman in recent memory.

My marriage is not in jeopardy, because I truly love my wife and would never do anything to hurt that marriage; but I need to note this down, and get it out… because I just need to share it and keep it… so that I can remember this fondly in the future…

No matter where life takes me.